Lesson 9: Disagreeing

“Disagreeing”

I think one big difference between American and Japanese culture is that it is easier to disagree in America. This type of debate style is expected in many situations including when talking with friends and family and also superiors such as teachers or police officers. Generally most Japanese people would agree that disagreeing with superiors is not only rude but can get you into big trouble. Moreover, Japanese even have to be careful disagreeing with friends and colleagues because it can be hard to keep a friendly peaceful atmosphere when there’s too much disagreement. In America, that is just not the case. In school kids are taught to be critical thinkers. That is, we are taught to question everything; even teachers and authority. Of course, too much disagreeing all of the time is viewed as negative or combative but it’s acceptable to disagree and still remain friendly. There are a couple of key points. One, the reason for disagreeing must be valid or important. Two, each person’s opinion, if valid, must be respected and heard with equal weight. Even a police officer who pulls you over for a violation will listen to you if you have a valid explanation of the situation. For example, I got a ticket for driving on a toll road for not having a toll road permit. I explained to the police office that the toll road sign was too small and I didn’t see it. Since my excuse was valid, the officer with his authority decided not to issue the ticket and let me go. The pattern for disagreeing is fairly easy. If you are asked a question, use the word “yes” or “no” followed by a pronoun and the opposite form of the verb. For example, X. “Sean didn’t go to the game.” Y. “Yes, he did.” Or X. “She worked all day.” Y. “No, she didn’t.” I’ll give you the disagreeing answers below and you try and make your own statement that fits the situation.

Key words:
He took the last cookie. No, he didn’t
He can’t hear you. Yes, he can
She should buy a new car. No, she shouldn’t
He doesn’t like natou.Yes, he does
They will adopt a child. No, they won’t
We aren’t hot. Yes, we are
You have saved enough money. No, I haven’t
He wasn’t sick. Yes, he was
She would like cake instead of ice cream. No, she wouldn’t
He shouldn’t do that. Yes, he should
We wouldn’t find the keys. No, we would

Here are some situational examples:
Example: Two friends
(Casual):
w You and Julie wouldn’t like the concert.
u No, we would.

Example: Two co-workers
(Everyday)
w He wasn’t the best guy for the job.
u Yes, he was.

Example: Boss to manager
(Formal):
w You should always hire a man for this position.
u No, you shouldn’t.